I made my way to the psychiatrist’s office knowing that my life was not working out the way I had planned it. This knowing was not a new experience.
In my great excitement to get on with life I popped out of my mother’s body two months before the world was at all ready for me. So that was quite a letdown. It was not wonderful out here and I could not get on with it. They slapped me in cotton wool and into a machine, all three pounds of me and there I stayed on my own with nothing to do for two months.
After many experiences of re-arranged kinfolk and war time anxiety, at nine I knew what I needed was a real ‘mother.’ My own mother was given marching orders years ago and I was sure that if I just had a mother like everyone else things would be fine. I would be fine.
I manifested that by the time I was ten. But that also proved to be not the glory, not the answer to the success of my life. Years progressed with all of the usual difficult time of adolescence with a few extras added for the experience. During this time I decided the answer lay in finding a beautiful male ‘hero’ to fall in love with and, even more important, he would fall in love with me. I would get married, build a home, have three or four children and life would be blissful. Well whoops again!
All of the above I achieved by the time I was twenty six and four years later I was on the way to the psychiatrist’s office. I had achieved the goals I had set and it was not working. It was awful!
So began a journey of personal growth, of self-discovery. It was a journey of pain and joy, of a broken marriage, a new career and a new marriage and many relationship experiences in between. Always I was doing what I could to retain my relationship with my children and have these relationships grow. This I have achieved.
In the middle of this journey, I penned these lines:
Teach me a new way of living
Teach me a new way of being
Teach me a new way of loving.
They were a prayer to God, the universe, to anyone who could hear me. I knew that all I had done and all that I was, did not have the answer to living, or being loved, that would bring satisfaction, joy or happiness to myself or others.
I needed a new way and, as most of the people around me seemed to be in the same boat, trying the same things – coming up with the same answers, so did they.
This plea headed me in the direction of new ideas, new ways, or stated new ways, of development. So I was often, some would say always, involved in programs that were seen as too radical, too dangerous, too confronting, by my friends. But my quest moved on. At times I found that I had to choose between my quest and the company of dear friends. My quest always won out. It still does.
I am clear from my own personal experience and the state of the planet I live on that we must find a new ways. For at whatever level we look, it is a rather bleak picture. The physical wellbeing of the planet looks dim to those who are looking. The relationships between countries are in some difficulty finding ways to live co-operatively. And take a look at the relationships within your business life and on a personal level. I do not mean just looking at yourself, your situation; please do that, but what of those around you?
For every child on the street there is a family that does not work. For every being in prison there is a family or families that have not worked and the numbers in both instances are increasing. So our answers, our solutions have not worked not just in the short term but over a long time. Wars have not worked, religions have not worked, psychology has not worked, Government has not worked, social security has not worked.
You might say, “Well I have found the answer, I am happy in my relationships. I am doing what I want in life and it is fantastic.” I say that is great but now what about the fellow standing next to you? What of your country, your world, your planet? Now you have your act together can you contribute your knowledge elsewhere? Do you have something you can pass on? Then find a way to do it for we are all in this together.
This is where I find myself now, with something to pass on.
A new way of being, a new way of loving.
It is indeed a new way of perceiving the state of human being. And from this new way of seeing there comes a way to create life and a way to experience it. Through this way love is greater than ever I conceived of it to be. The possibility of the presence of love in our lives is magnified a thousand fold. So I would like to present it to you. While you may find shades of other ways, ideas, concepts with it, I want you to see them as shades and resist the attempt to correlate. You will find it is like trying to do two jigsaws at the same time and getting the pieces a little muddled. It never works.
In invite you to take a step where you may never have been before and out of that create the possibility for greater power in everyday life.